Of beards and staches....

Baseball is more than just a game. It has always been tied to so much more than 9 innings stretched out over 162 games. For some of us it is Lou Gehrigs speech and the hope it inspired. For others, it is watching a defiant president throwing out the first pitch in New York just months after 9/11. For me, it has always been facial hair. Yes,I said facial hair. There is something awe-inspiring about a man with a beard or a stache. From the Tom Selleck to Fidel Castro,love them or hate them you can’t deny the power of the scruff. Every 12 year old boy dreams of a day when they will have manliness sprouting from their face, and sadly as we get older that dream gets pushed to the back in hopes of landing a good job and finding a hot woman. What is wrong with this country? We need to address the big problems and truth be told those problems aren’t wars or economics. We need to elevate facial hair back to the place it belongs! The days of Rollie Fingers may have passed but the shadow of mantastic facial hair laid down by the likes of Jason Giambi and Johnny Damon still hover over us. Jason Giambi may have cheated by using steroids but he never cheated in the stache department. That mustache is a national treasure and I am almost willing to argue deserves to be in Cooperstown. Yes, Pujols and Texiera are monsters at first but they have nothing on hustling into first knowing that a man,a strong manly man was waiting for you with power of the almighty Selleck stache waiting for them. Truth be told,I hate the Yankees with all that is within me but I won’t lie,I wish I could have been there for fake Giambi stache day. Lets move on the beard. Beards equal pure testosterone. You never hear of clean shaved man wrestling a bear with his bare hands. No,it is always a bearded, rugged man. Johnny Damon used to be that man. As a Red Sox Damon was not only a top five center fielder but also a cave man who had almost as many people as Jesus longing to say that he was their homeboy. Geico launched a whole commercial campaign in his likeness and millions of woman swooned to just get a glimpse of the beard. 

The days of Giambi may be behind us but it is not to late to start a revolution in facial hair. Johnny, please grow back the beard. Pujols,Texiera,A-Rod,Ethier,Ichiro and the rest of the league,I plead for you to not let Giambi stache day die in vain. In world with a Starbucks on every corner and a smart phone in every pocket, are kids deserve some facial hair on their mens faces.

(None of the ridiculous statements made in this blog are factual to anyone except me.)